Fandom Fuckery: A Former Fan’s Tale

Hello, my lovely Geeklings! I know that it’s been a while, and perhaps you thought that Michelle and I had thrown in the towel… Well, we haven’t! (But you are certainly forgiven for thinking so.) We have been doing a lot of behind the scenes work aimed at making the BF Geek Girls experience better for all. Our goal all along has been about fostering creativity and developing a sense of community, so we’re sorry for any confusion, feelings of abandonment, and emotional trauma.

Like so many things that I have written here on BF Geek Girls, this week’s posting comes to you courtesy of a Tumblr post, this one sent to me by Michelle H, asking me to describe the fandoms that have let me down in the past. And not that I’m all about the negativity, but sometimes it’s our dissatisfaction with what we are being given to consume which inspires us to create something new and satisfying. Now, let me preface this by saying that it really takes a lot for me to ditch a show once I have gotten passionately attached to it… But once I get to that tipping point, you can bet that I have accumulated ESSAYS worth of reasons the show sucked. Enjoy!

1) Angel– basically, once Buffy moved to UPN, I stopped watching Angel. His character was never as interesting to me, and I really watched for the other characters. I made it to the episode where his son was born already, but just before Wesley turned on him. Darla having the baby in the first place was just too weird for me. I’ve seen the odd episode from the last two seasons, but haven’t brought myself to sit down and watch the series start to finish. On that note…

2) Buffy Season Eight in the comics–graphic novels are not my speed, but I really tried with this continuation of the Buffyverse. But when Buffy suddenly went lesbian?! After the very first page of the comic is her having a naughty nurse fantasy with Spike AND angel?! If there had been any clue or hint of her being interested in girl’s before, I might have bought it.

3) Game of Thrones/A Song if Ice and Fire–two words, both literal and figurative: character assassination! I could forgive having many of the characters I absolutely loved being mindlessly and ruthlessly butchered (to a point). But the fucking Mother of goddamn Dragons chains up “the only children she’ll bear” in a fucking pyramid because one of them MIGHT have killed/eaten a peasant child? Out. Of. Character. Plus, as fun as Tyrion is on the show, I really don’t care about his river cruise down Denial. Give me more of the remaining Starks, Martin, or stop writing! Oh wait, you already are incapable of consistent production. The show lost me before the Red Wedding because I was already bored by then, with the books and the show.

4) The Walking Dead–ironically, I didn’t start watching this show until the end of season 4. I saw the Lizzie episode at my best friend’s place (she and her boyfriend at the time were avid viewers), and knew that I needed to see it from the beginning. While her character wasn’t my favorite at first, I kind of fell in love with Beth; she and Maggie were the ones that I really connected with because I could see a lot of myself in them. So, when she died, I lost a lot of interest in the show. Maybe in having watched the whole series in such a short amount of time, I had achieved death-of-hope-and-humanity overload, but killing Beth sucked the heart out of the group, IMO. I kept watching though, because it had become a Sunday night tradition with the bestie at this point… And then Glenn “died” because of Nicholas’s stupidity. I ceased to give any fucks.

5) Castle–another show that I came to late, I got lost somewhere in season 5. And then it was one plot device after another aimed at creating unnecessary drama/angst in the relationship. It reminded me too much of the few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy that I had seen and disliked.

6) House, M.D.–loved Jennifer Morrison, Omar Epps, Robert Sean Leonard, Jesse Spenser, and Lisa Edelstein. Hugh Laurie was also a big draw in terms of his acting, but I didn’t actually like House himself. I also discovered a loathing for Sela Ward, who played his ex-girlfriend, and for the guy who played her husband. When House and Cuddy started their love triangle with Lucas, I was heading for the exit.

7) Sleepy Hollow–one of the single greatest examples, aside from Once, of how NOT to proceed too quickly with a show, especially a show that will be heavy on the mythology (both in and out of Canon). In having a short first season, the writers knew that they had to absolutely nail every mark; and they delivered. With the two seasons’ renewal, they got room to breathe, but it was too much freedom, and too much hype, too soon. Season two was going swimmingly, until that pesky little OOC move on Henry’s part convinced Mommy Dearest to side with the devil; and it was OOC for Katrina to so easily be persuaded. After that, the third season opener killed off another supposedly unkillable big bad (Plague and Famine were probably ready to peace out on the apocalypse at the rate the other Horsemen died), and was tonally very different from the other two. And the lapse in time and their separation really made no sense for someone as duty-bound as both Abbie and Ichabod were set up by the narrative. Plus, no more Orlando Jones? Criminal!!

8) Supernatural–now this one hurts because I loved seasons 1 through 5. If the show had end with Dean making a family with Lisa and Ben, Sam locked in Hell with Lucifer, Michael, and Adam (or potentially resurrected, even)? Great ending with a twist! Season 6 lost me. Soulless Sam was weirdly more likeable than whiny little bitch Sam, and for those of us who actually know our Apocryphal Judeo-Christian documents, Lilith was the mother of all demons and the rejected first wife of Adam (ironically, because she wanted to sexually dominate him; i.e., have non-missionary position sex). Basically, Kripke wrapped things up really nicely before ending his tenure as the showrunner; season 6 felt lost and disjointed, and I never cared to see if they ever got their act together. Speaking of lost…

9) LOST–……. THEY FUCKING KILLED CHARLIE!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY KILLING THE ROCKSTAR HOBBIT?!?!

10) Heroes–I really have no clue what happened in that writers’ room after season one, but at the very least this show caused me to shudder at the sight of a Nissan Versa to this day! Once again, I think the writers were given too much room to breathe; in their case, the show became more about the mythology/conspiracy elements rather than keeping the viewers grounded by consistent characters.

(Bonus) True Blood—as with ASOIAF and TWD, I respect that the shows and the source materials often overlap and inform each other, but that they are different entities. So, while I dug the Sookie Stackhouse books, I was so excited for them to make changes and/or corrections when adapting the show. But part of the problem with the books was that the writing was very… inconsistent. Charlaine Harris spent far too much time insisting to us that Sookie was a) human and b) a good Southern Christian, only to reveal to us that she was at least one-quarter Fae and that surviving the supernatural world required a whole lot of moral and ethical Twister. And Sookie’s identity crises were often linked to a change in her romantic partners or a shift in her current romantic relationship. By the time her 12th book ended with Sookie’s “revelation” that she loved Sam more than she wanted to save/salvage her relationship with Eric (which, Sookie is the martyr in EVERY situation, if you hadn’t been paying attention throughout the series)? I was already heading out of the door, and that was before I found out that she ended up with her worst romantic partner ever! The show made a lot of really good changes, altering some plot lines to have them make more sense and adding/keeping characters who exited the books too quickly. But try watching the series from start to finish (still haven’t been able to slog my way past the season five Bilith clusterfuck)… Basically, the show became a glutton’s feast of naked, nubile babes and vampire sex. Which, I can’t really fault the physiques on display, but I’ve seen porn with better plotting, acting, and pacing. Also, Jason Stackhouse… If Harris deserves to spend time in Purgatory, it’s going to be for creating such a vacuous, yet toxic miasma of chauvinism and man pain. Also, you don’t throw in fairies just to alleviate YOUR boredom with YOUR stories!

On Notice: Once Upon a Time…. I’m watching you, Adam & Eddy, et al….. Glaring at you so hard right now!!

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